I've got all this time to spend with you
I've got all this time to spend with you
Delicate your lashes sift through carpet
Your cheek brushed up against the fabric
I've got all this time to spend with you
I've got all this time to spend with you
At your university probably with a book you sit
I'm so very far with this guitar throwing a fit

I'm wondering where to place my lips
So delicate, so delicate, delicate

I've got all this time to spend with you
I've got all this tiem to spend with you
My thumb sweeps below your cheek from a steady stream
Don't worry now. Harder times will arrive if that means anything.
I've got all this time to spend with you
I've got all this time to spend with you
You see big thoughts behind my eyes. I'm afraid of them.
My emotions are a monster and you're just a friend

Grapevine Spits Acoustic

Fashion and then into tangent

Fashion. What a strange thing it is. It's not only the very thing we adorn our bodies with, but a means of status and as the reason for what we wear. People are claiming clothes for a huge exchange of money simply to be associated with the brand. The value of the Lacoste Polo has more intrinsic value than might be realized by the majority, but it is understood by the culture of people for which the fashionistas rely on. Fashion is incredibly dependent on its culture in how it shifts and changes. Not to mention how spreads into subsections like roots from the tree. I wonder for women and their flower dresses. I wonder for the men and their blue jeans. Will these fashions fade? Is ugly going to be in one of these days?

Just a wild number of contingencies form and create the reason for wearing what we do. Looking fashionable at the club for the ladies or the boys. Cocktail parties. Formal church wear. All of these have their own set of motives, and maybe even criteria for establishing the norms we have today. There are eyes everywhere evaluating the wear of a person. A cop walks by in uniform and you know what he's about. A person walks by in flannel t-shirt, toms, and sports and bandanna and you figure what that person is about. And all of these silly little things help to shape some world view. Some underlying meaning to all of the is squeezed into what our perception becomes. And isn't that fascinating yet wildly strange? That we could let things like the way fabric establish someone's finite world view? It fits together some personal puzzle of a million pieces for that complete picture and yet not everyone's picture is the same.

When someone dives into the industry, what's very apparent is what is beyond the money spent. The motives of consumer behavior is dependent on so many variables in culture, mood, and personality, etc. Some things beyond understanding.

With further research pushing deeper into our understanding of the human psyche I wonder for the research and scientist. Developments? Actual understanding? Are we truly capable of understanding everything on the earth? At that point is space officially the final frontier? A me where philosophies are shattered at complete understanding of the world. A huge glorious systematic world where everything is testable and predictable. Life with out the life. A complete growing an level playing field for everyone. But even then it will not go away. Competition is thriving, changing, and establishing the way we live. It is creating all who we are and determining our world perception. So my worry now lies in the people who think life is solvable. No problems and only solutions. A world solved by the flick the wrist. I'm more scared for the current problems the world presents to us on a daily basis. They form and create us to grow into that puzzle. What a wonderful world. Simply beaming with opportunity and growth. God bless it.

emo lame blah blah

You try to laugh out the feeling in your stomach that you've given up.
You try forgetting to tell yourself that you're growing up.
Stop me now because I'm calling it quits
I'm learning now what it means to resist
The self and all it craves
The coldest cold to brave

New song for upcoming EP.

Picture perfect
You got it all in your head
Mapped out
Like how sewers run
Ideas of ideas of ideas
Before you step, mam
Is there any action
in satisfaction?

Hold your corner,
Don't let go
For all the things you have
You best not let them know
Thinnest thief
Grizzled grief
Set up, set up
in satisfaction

Your hands, Your eyes
They're not done.
They cry for more blood
In satisfaction
In Satisfaction

Diaphonus, just let it through
If the glass fills,
it's not done by you
There is sense of light
Building plight
Setting strife
Noose or knife
Running right
Squeezing tight
Cutting kite
Get what you might
It's just life
Do what you might
It's just life

Tides Roll When Ready

Fresh as a wave you linger
The salt of familiar things
Undertow passes, the time split
I won't recognize the day
Without you

Just as a whale in the air
A sight seen by few
I can't net, I can't catch
I'm holding on
To you

Honest

I'm going to be honest
I think we're more afraid to live
Than we are to die.
I've seen my share of teeth
Plastic smiles unsheathed
From lips that speak kind things
But what's really underneath?

I've dug with my eyes into every heart I can find
Values were borders but beliefs were crossed lines
The heart is a vacuum. It sucks what garbage it finds
It contains all the dust and waits for the mind
To filter out the mess and find what's good
It's too bad the filters aren't easily understood.

Prevalance and Persistance

These wrinkles overcome

Into a Chicago raincoat

But at first I will set myself

Apart and not aside

Let in the air; Make haste

Waste not your life

Let it move

Insights From a "Nice" Guy: Romantics Aside, Man Up!

I wanted to be involved and included. I've wanted to be so many strange things through my childhood that I was completely different from what others wanted to do. I chose a creative path from an early age and I enjoyed expanding my imagination to use it in story, or song, or through any other strange means. I wanted to invent new ideas and concepts no one was thinking about. I just wanted to be different. That's exactly what I got, too. Me being different led to me feeling left out, and to one day attaining the knowledge of exclusion and thinking independently. Understanding the comforts of the inclusion and the great social benefits of a community of friends, I thus brought it upon myself to be treat people with respect and concern - seeking to be some sort of beacon of understanding for those who feel excluded or confused just like I was. I worked hard at being social and friendly character. I wanted that and I got that as well.

Somehow, along the lines of High School and October 31, I never really felt the actual calling to be a man or to know what that means until now. Sure, I've made a few cracks here and there about how much I enjoy being a guy, but I never understood the point of growing up when all I wanted to do was enjoy the times I had with what friends I had through the good and the bad. I was such a nice guy in particular, but I probably wasn't to be taken too seriously for all the jokes I tried to crack to make some girl interested in me. Yea, I thought that would work like full-proof (I'm also a professional idiot...ladies?). In lots of ways I think I liked being some desparing romantic because I was artistically emo. Thank You, Shakespeare - you douche bag.

I wrapped myself in my concerns and in my worrying for people -- caring too much for others. I kept forgetting to focus on myself. I forgot that I have to live my own life too. As much as I've vicariously lived through other people's drama, I tried setting myself far apart from it to avoid creating my own. Very few times I've took the measure of standing up for myself unless it involved my education -- I was more of a people-pleaser.

If there was anything I wish I had learned in my earliest of Nice Guy phases it's that I needed to be an individual. I forgot about that entirely. I lost my goal of being different and inventive -- to be a better person. I've diluted it with raising concerns for others way too much. My lack of concern for stability and security with my own life has left me to still in some aspects to not be a man, but still a mere boy. I threw away the idea of working out, being confident, and leaving everything to the magic of my charm (if I really do have that [the magic or the charm, I'm not real sure]). In learning this, I've become more aggressive and confident in my decision making. I'm now becoming much more pro-active in my decision-making and setting up goals for my life that actually don't include other people. While I don't think I'll ever stop being a caring person; I think I realize now more than ever the need to be an individual in a society that is so easy to be complacent in. I will stand for what is truth and what needs to be done and ease up on the worrying for what is relative to a person's situation.

I'm learning the lesson of love in that it is patient. I'm letting time do the work, and I'm not going to be worrying about how I might feel out of the social loop, or how much I really like a girl just because I just so happen to be a romantically inclined person. These things are wonderful, but they are material. It has left me unfocused on the Lord above and my life as a whole. While I do invest my time in the friendships I make; I've taken this semester to really focus on myself and where I need to be as a man. To take the reigns of life and lead it in a confident direction however the foggy the roads may be.

A Recent List of Oddities

1. I know girl who gets jello from the cafeteria just to play with it. She doesn't like jello and makes comments about how it looks on different days.
2. I believe one of the great things about walking across campus is seeing all of the pretty ladies you didn't know existed @ UNT. However, sometimes if the girl is pretty enough I have a sudden urge to walk into them instead of around them.
3. My father once told me, when I was young; I would grow to be taller than him. Unfortunately, I remain at middle ground between my mom and dad.
4. When I'm on facebook I think about all the homework I should be doing. When I'm doing homework I think about all the facebook I could be doing. One theory I heard is that Facebook "takes up all that brain space".
5. Leaders aren't just born. They are sometimes people who get annoyed enough to finally take the position because no one else wants to take it. Some want to be leaders just because it looks good on their resume.
6. You can never be 'whelmed'. Only over or under.
7. A person will tell an artist that they like their work just to be nice. I wonder what these people would think if I said they were 'truthful' and 'honest' - just to be nice.
8. Furries. Seriously, wtf.
9. People like to use their phones for texting, apps, games, and checking e-mail. When did calling people become an outdated method?
10. Some people grow grass only to cut it for social norms sanctioned by neighbors they never even see, know, visit, or talk to.
11. One night I had a dream that I asked a girl to Homecoming. My memory failed to differentiate between a dream and reality. I honestly thought for a while she was going to be my Homecoming date.
12. Some omnivores believe that animals should be slaughtered and eaten because they feel that animals have no moral say in human society - men dominate them. What some of those omnivores would find appalling: That same reasoning has been applied to justify abortion.
13. A lot of people like to write poetry, but not a lot of people are willing to read the work of anyone else.
14. At one time the spelling 'coronel', 'curnel', and 'colonel' existed at the same time. They were the English spellings of the Italian word 'colonello' (It literally means column). For whatever reason, the most obtuse way to spell a word that sounds with an 'r' survived them all.
15. I've been told that Job in the Bible actually dies in the end, but was changed to be more of an uplifting and positive story of faith and devotion. I wonder for Abraham.

Is the real world as strange as they say it is?
Or is it as strange as it seems?